Loud Ghosts- Tiny Rant

So, for thirteen years I’ve been carrying this particular energy. It was so obsessive for me. I’ve given you a description of how my brain works, hence I attempt to be cautious with the things I place my own energy into. I won’t deny, there are walls in a lot of my personal manners, but I always leave the keys to the gate to things I’m comfortable with.

💭💭💭 Somehow, I view this from an ethical standpoint, even though it may not be that deep. Why am I comfortable? What pleasure do I receive from this, and do the “yeas” outweigh the “nays”. Do I categorize it under the pursuit of happiness or pleasure, and even then what are the limitations?

My pursuit may not be that of another. Lots of times we wind up becoming a means to an end by attempting to integrate multiple foreign energies into our own self created grand design. The result is always confusion, until everyone is on one accord.

I’ve heard so much through hearing nothing. I realize that I’ve been so engulfed in finding an ending, proving myself, and looking for an answer that I never paid attention to what I was given. The realization hits hard… I gave myself time to process the larger message.

I always try to forget my ghosts. They all represent some level of disappointment I’ve had at some point. It’s as if I can accept the lesson, but I’d prefer to bury the rest. Some haunt me, but I’m picky on which I gamble with. That said, I’ve never gambled a day in my life, so you can see the issue. Gambling takes a level of confidence in yourself, and I’m guessing the Great Gambling spirit. There’s a possibility you’ll lose. You have to be prepared to deal with that lost whether it be your favorite watch, or a life. It’s all about how you handle that emotion, as to whether it flourishes into something greater, or diminishes.

God knows, a decade ago, I would never have been this understanding towards a situation. However, I refuse to allow myself to be burdened by an unfamiliar energy.

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